religion-practice

Attachment theory is a psychological framework developed by John Bowlby that explains how early bonds between infants and caregivers shape emotional development and relationship patterns across the lifespan. Bowlby's attachment theory proposes that human infants are biologically programmed to form attachments with caregivers as a survival mechanism—connection

Why Your Nervous System Needs Other People There's a reason "just calm down" never works. When you're dysregulated—anxious, triggered, overwhelmed—your nervous system isn't waiting for rational instructions from your prefrontal cortex. It's running a survival program that'

In the late 1980s, developmental psychologist Mary Main discovered something that shouldn't exist according to attachment theory. She found infants who, when reunited with their caregiver after a brief separation, would approach and then freeze mid-step. Or run toward their mother and then veer away. Or collapse to

Avoidant attachment is not one pattern but two. Both withdraw from intimacy. Both prioritize independence. Both look like emotional unavailability from the outside. But under the surface—at the level of the autonomic nervous system—they're running fundamentally different programs. Dismissive avoidant attachment is organized, stable, and consistent.

Avoidant attachment is a relational pattern where individuals minimize emotional expression, prioritize independence, and maintain distance in intimate relationships—not because they don't feel distress, but because they've learned that expressing connection needs makes things worse. The defining paradox: they look calm on the outside while

Your partner doesn't text back for three hours. Your nervous system kicks into overdrive. Heart racing, stomach tight, mind spinning through worst-case scenarios—they're losing interest, they're mad at you, they're about to leave. This isn't irrational. It's